Comparitive Guide to World Religions
 
 TAOISM: Shit happens.
 
 CONFUCIANISM: Confucious says, "Shit happens".
 
 BUDDHISM: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
 
 ZEN: What is the sound of shit happening?
 
 HINDUISM: This shit happened before.
 
 MORMON: This shit is going to happen again.
 
 ISLAM: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
 
 CALVINISM: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
 
 CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.
 
 PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to someone else.
 
 JUDAISM: Why does this shit always happen to US?
 
 STOICISM: This shit is good for me.
 
 CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is only in your mind.
 
 SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.
 
 HEDONISM: There isn't anything like a good shit happening.
 
 MOONIES:  Only happy shit happens.
 
 HARE KRISHNA: Shit happens rama rama.
 
 RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.
 
 EXISTENTIALISM: What is shit, anyway?
 
 ATHEISM: No shit!