A young man was at home recovering from eating the rat he'd been
served in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Later that afternoon, he went to sleep.  When he awoke, he was in his
bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over.  As his
vision cleared, he looked just outside the tub and saw a note which
read, "YOUR KIDNEYS HAVE BEEN STOLEN, CALL 911!"

Unfortunately, he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected
to his computer, and there was a virus entitled "join the crew" on his
computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened an e-mail.  He
knew the virus wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer
programmer who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when
the year 2000 rolls around.  His new program should prevent a global
disaster in which all the computers get together and distribute the
$600 Neiman Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates.
And although this disaster may seem contrived, it's true! Last week,
in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, he promised a free
Disneyworld vacation and $5,000 for forwarding the e-mail to everyone
possible.

However, the poor man needed a phone so he went out his door and to
the nearest pay phone to call 911 and report his missing kidneys.
But, when reaching into the coin-return slot, he got jabbed with an
HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said,
"Welcome to the world of AIDS!"

But luckily, he was only a few blocks from the hospital.  The same one
where that little boy -- who is dying of cancer -- is staying.  The
boy is the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send
him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a
nickel for every e-mail he receives.

But the poor guy, who had no kidneys and has just been infected with
HIV, tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the way he noticed
another car driving along without his lights on.  To be helpful, he
flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a gang
initiation.  And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused
the Dark Ages.