The universe is made up of gnomes. No, I said that wrong. The universe is made up BY gnomes.
It's kind of like claymation. The gnomes spend time positioning the universe the way it's going to be. Then they throw a big switch, and the universe runs for one very tiny fraction of time. Then they reset everything for the next "frame".
There are about twenty of the gnomes. The foreman is named Big Eddie. You might think that it takes a long time for twenty gnomes to change the entire universe. But time is on hold while they're working, so it's not like you'd ever notice. And they don't really have any concept of time, anyway. The job gets done when the job gets done. And the next tiny step in the universe doesn't happen until afterward.
The gnomes are about two inches tall. You might think that's an awfully small size for such a big job. In fact, there are many parts of the universe that are much smaller in scale than we are. So small that we can't detect them. And when dealing with those parts of the universe, the gnomes are giants. As it happens, in comparison to the various scales of the universe, the gnomes are just about in the middle.
Nobody knows who tells the gnomes how things need to be positioned. They do NOT make things up, however. If that were the case, then Big Eddie would end up making all the decisions, and the universe would consist entirely of beavers smoking tobacco pipes and watching All in the Family reruns.
At the end of their work days (which are completely arbitrary in length), the gnomes go home to their families. They drink some ale, and tell their families about the work they did that day. And Big Eddie watches an old episode of All in the Family every night before going to bed.
9/14/2001 - I don't remember what spurned this. I think I was bored on a Friday evening, or something. Not much to it, just fluffly entertainment for myself. I remember I considered giving it a much more melanchly end, however. Big Eddie almost drank himself to sleep every night while watching All in the Family reruns. But I thought that would just be damned depressing.
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